In which I vent about my dipshit of a neighbor.

This morning, I yelled obscenities at the fucked bitch who lives next door. This woman (3 kids, no job, filthy apartment) has been constantly fabricating lies to get us in trouble with our landlord. The problem is— our landlord hates her so all her messages find their way to my mom’s phone.

Sunday, I was out on the driveway, waiting to pick up Cow’s poop when I noticed this box on her bench was slightly shredded. I thought to myself “I bet this lady is looking to start more shit and blame this on my Cow.”

I called it. Last night, our landlord forwarded her latest message where she basically threatened to file a complaint with the baranggay if we don’t leash our dog because he ruined the box that was sitting on top of her bench. And the reason this dipshit supposedly keeps a goddamn cardboard box on top of a bench out in the open? To prevent me, my brother, and our friends from sitting on said bench.

Right. Because we want nothing more than to sit our asses out in front of your filthy (her white walls are GRAY) apartment, on your dusty bench, while staring at a wall.

Photos of the box:

Dipshit.

1) Dogs CHEW, they don’t scratch.
2) Cow is too short to reach that bench and cannot reach up that high.
3) If an animal had done this, that foldable table would have toppled over when hypothetical animal scratched the side of the box.
4) I would pass this off as cat scratches… except some of the scratches go UP. Unless, of course, the cat pulled some Lara Croft stunts and hung by the tip of its fucking hind legs to scratch at a fucking cardboard box.
5) Had a dog done this… do you think it would leave those loose shreds of cardboard alone?
6) If my dog had any interest in your stupid box, he would have gnawed at the lower corner. That shit is untouched.

I started off today’s fight with a very civil “Excuse me. I have a problem. I heard you were blaming my dog for ruining your box” and the stupid cunt just started mumbling bullshit and threw in “common sense” (common sense tells me A SABOTAGING MISERABLE BITCH did this) before retreating back into her apartment. Did she honestly think we were stupid? We call her out on her bullshit and she has no defense because she knows we’re on to her.

I would LOVE for her to call the baranggay so I can show them what a bonehead she is. I mean, seriously— she’s trying to frame a dog for destructing her property and she can’t even do it properly. What special kind of stupid do you have to be to FAIL THAT BADLY? And this isn’t even her first attempt! The first week Cow was here, there were hand-torn cardboard pieces scattered around to make it seem like my bbdog was being destructive. That failed because my mom chucked them out (she knew cuntlady was going to try to pin that on Cow).

Anyway, I wish her kids were around to hear me disrespect their fucked bitch of a mother.